More to.......WHAT?

I am a guys guy. I enjoy sports, occasionally cuss, and would rather give my wife a high five on our anniversary then have to figure out what perfume she is now infatuated with.

I tell you this because tonight I accidentally started watching the new reality TV show "More to Love".

I kid you not, this is a reality show about fat people. It is like "The Bachelor" for the big and tall. Today, I decided that I am going to become a television writer. Seriously, if "More to Love", which stars a guy who hasn't seen a salad in the last 15 years, becomes a hit new show for NBC, I think the end of mankind is near.

To stress my point, here are a couple of quotes as they were going through the elimination ceremony:

1) "I was so nervous because he hadn't called my name and I thought, I am going to lose the man of my dreams...." Seriously, according to my calculations, she had known Tubby Tommy for approximately 49 minutes, and at this point had determined that he was the man of her dreams. Two words for you sweetie: Aim Higher.

2) "I really need to make it through elimination because I honestly think this is my last chance at love." This came from a gal who I am not kidding was 29 years old and weighed more than any 29 year old should. My advice: Your last chance at love should not be hooking up with Fatty McFatterson....it should have more to do with hooking up with that exercise bike you are now using as a clothesline.


So, no joke I watched the show for 19 minutes. I could not believe that this made it to prime time television. I have a call into the NBC execs right now though to pitch my new show: "Everyone Poops". I cannot give away the plot, but can you say "riveting".

Because they watch Ni Hao Kai Lan, which is a cartoon about a 5 year old preschooler who teaches kids to always "try your best"...instead of reality shows staring Wally Weigh-A-Lot...I love my girls....