Short Story

To catch you up on a couple things:

1) I am going to Canada for work in two days. I don't mind traveling, but I will miss my family, and it is cold in Canada. Instead of hanging out with our friends or family at a Superbowl party...I will be in Canada...Esterhazy....Canada....

2) My wife makes me smile. In so many different ways....but here is a story I just recently learned.

My wife took our oldest to the pediatrician for her two year old checkup, (yes a year ago, but I learned this story last night). Any time my wife goes to the doctor, she typically prepares a list of questions. You need to know my wife to understand the level of detail she likes to get into, but since many of my readers don't know her let me provide an example.

A typical question for me at the pediatrician's office would be "Is Katelyn healthy?"

For my wife to ask the same question, it would go more like this: "Does she have a cold? Does she have a cough? She had a temperature for 3 minutes yesterday is that okay? There is something going around the daycare, should I keep her home? She looked tired yesterday, should I be worried about her rest? She did not eat all of her peas three weeks ago. is that a sign of an eating disorder? Do you think she has a vitamin D deficiency?" and so on and so on....

So, I choose to avoid the doctor visits if possible. This is not because I am not a supportive husband or loving father, but more because I think they see my wife coming and know they are going to be staying late tonight.

So on this visit to the Dr., my wife was going through her usual list of questions, mostly gearing up for what her real concern is. You see, Kelly had been watching the reality show 'Little People Big World' that is about a family of dwarfs, growing up and the trials and tribulations they have to deal with. After watching the show for a while, my wife was worried that although many people at the time just thought Katelyn was petite, what if she is really a dwarf?

So after getting through the normal set of questions, my wife finally having mustered up the courage asks Dr. Hackett: "Is Katelyn going to be a little person?"

Dr. Hackett looked at Kelly, and emphatically says "well....yes...."

All color leaves my wife's face. She is on the verge of crying but wants to remain strong in front of her child. She knows, thanks to the reality show, that "little people" can live relatively normal lives...

Then Dr Hackett continues: "Of course she is going to be little. You are 5 foot 1, and your husband is not that tall, although ruggedly handsome" (I may have added the last part)

All color returns to my wife's face when she realizes that the doctor did not understand the question as she meant it, and instead of her youngest being a dwarf...she is just going to be short.

Although destined to be vertically challenged, I love my girls...

Happy 18 Months

I was going to title this Happy Half-Birthday, but my wife instructed me that although they were celebrating a half birthday today, it was 18 months....which apparently is a milestone.


Her definition of "milestone" and mine differ. If asked, I would say that graduating college, getting married, first baby, etc... are milestones. My wife would apparently go with 18 months.


I am just happy because now I think I can say she is a year and a half old versus counting the months. No joke, last week in the grocery store I asked a lady how old her son was and she told me 49 months. After some quick math, I figured out that is a little over 4 years old. I didn't know how to respond so I walked away...but I feel bad for the kid. He is going to graduate college and that lady is going to shout "there's my little 216 month old"


Katelyn celebrated too. Below she is eating the "cake" mom made.








If you can't tell in the photo. It is crackers and cheese, and yes....Katelyn is in her pajamas. Monday is often declared Pajama Day. It is not because mom is lazy, it is actually declared so by Katelyn. She actually takes off the pajamas she slept in the night before, and puts on a fresh pair to spend the day in. Pajama Day for her, no time saved for mom.

So, one girl hit a milestone, one girl had Pajama Day, and one girl made "cake" that had no baking or sugar involved.

I love my girls.

This is Minnesota in January.  These are my kids.  Many people that are not from the Midwest will never know the luxury of "playing outside" when it is 12 degrees out.

My kids know this luxury.

This picture was actually taken in December because it was 12 degrees out.  The average temperature in January I believe has been something teetering between mild frostbite and hypothermia.

You cannot tell from this photo, but Katelyn (in the back) is the older sister at 3 years of age.  Somehow the picture makes it look like my one year old could crush her.

To catch you up though on recent events....we have gone a full day without any vomit, although it is official that Ashley has another ear infection.

That makes 296 ear infections, and we have decided that "tubes" might be the right solution.  Thanks to dad for coming out and taking care of them today....more thanks for actually giving Ashley her medicine because as admitted in previous posts my youngest daughter would rather eat nails then take her medicine.

On a side note, my wife caught the bug as well.  The difference between her and the kids though is that I think the bug morphed into a less deadly version of the Bubonic Plague.  From Sunday night at about 5 PM to Tuesday morning, my wife was not fairing well.  The worst came on Monday morning at about 4:30AM.  I was sleeping in the hallway as it was the most central location to all three of my sick girls. Kelly opens the door and falls over saying on the way down "I think I am fainting."  As she lied there motionless, I was faced with a dilemma...I mean, what do you do with someone who just fainted...throw water in their face?  take them to the emergency room?  Mouth to mouth?  The latter was not going to happen because I had heard her continuously throwing up for four hours....my lips were not going near hers.  So, as I was standing over her  contemplating next steps.....she finally says "no....I am still here..."  Slowly, she stood up and went back to bed.  

I did not go to work on Monday, but I did not see my wife either.  She was in bed......fainting.

She is fine now.  Katelyn is fine now.  Once we get this ear infection licked, Ashley will be fine.

I on the other hand....am SuperDan.

Even though they are mortals compared to me, I love my girls....

Weekend Fun

Came into the weekend with high expectations. High expectations for the Minnetrista Smiths literally means hitting the grocery store, Target and then one other "surprise store" which is traditionally Kohl's or Target again.

Excited none the less because we had nothing much planned....and after Kelly and I had a busy week each, looking forward to a little bit of relaxing. Friday night was uneventful, although I did manage to squeeze in a cribbage game with the neighbor and another friend that I did dreadful in. Enjoyed the rest of the evening talking with the Mrs. about a plethora of things.

We went to sleep. At about 3 AM, all plans went out the window as Katelyn woke up violently ill. I won't go into details, but let's just say that I know that Katelyn's dinner looked a whole lot better going down then coming up. Her new nickname is "Old Faithful" because she continued to get sick every 20 minutes until 6:10 AM. I slept from 4-6, my wife slept from 6-8.

We are tired.

The worst part....Ashley picked it up at about 11AM today. I did not know that a one year olds stomach held so much. Ashley's is currently empty.

Katelyn feels fine now, Ashley went to sleep after one last round...we are hoping the morning brings smiles. All in all, we got to check off another thing on the list of "learning to be a parent" in dealing with two little ones erupting consistently through the day.

I would say that since the only victims were two pillowcases and one pair of pajamas that could not be salvaged, we did okay.

Although my gag reflex was tested multiple times by them today....I love my girls.

Happy New Year

So, Happy New Year everyone. Hope you all had a safe and festive new year. Now, on to more interesting things. On Saturday, I received a post card from DishNetwork. Now, you may be thinking (as I did) that they were going to thank me for being a loyal customer, and wish me a happy DishNetwork filled 2009. It was not. Instead, it was a letter that stated:

Dear Valued Customer:

DishNetwork does everything it can to control our costs and keep our prices low. Unfortunately, due to changes in regulations, we will be increasing our rates in February. The program package that is referred to as America's Top 200 will be changing it's name to America's Platinum 200 and the new effective rate will b e $57.99 per month.

Thank you for your patronage,
James DeFranco
Executive Vice President, Sales and Distribution, Marketing

So, of course on Monday I had to call DishNetwork as I needed more clarification. Today I pay $44.99 for America's Top 200. So I called the customer service line to find out what I was getting for $13 dollars more a month. Unfortunately, I spoke to someone who I could barely understand but would bet my mortgage does not live in Minnesota. After 7 minutes, I came to the conclusion that the only thing I was going to get for $13 more a month was the opportunity to call it America's Platinum 200 versus America's Top 200.

So I have decided to write them a letter. It will read as follows:

Dear Jim:

I do everything I can to make sure my expenses stay low. Unfortunately, due to overall economic uncertainty, I will be decreasing the amount I am paying you in February. The program package that I refer to as America's Top 200, I will now refer to as America's Middle 200 and the new rate I will be paying you is $34.99.

Thank you for my patronage,
Dan Smith
Executive Vice President of Household Expense Control

They have my phone number, so if they want to get in touch with me, I mean my "customer service line" they can call.

I'll keep you posted as to how it turns out.

No matter what though, I love my girls....